A Jewel To Behold

I was 15, young and curious about the world, roaming around with my best friend. Her name was Julia but everyone called her Jewel.

She was one of the prettiest girls you would ever see. In our sleepy little town she was the one who drew the attention of all the boys we knew, they were captured by her sapphire eyes, straight black hair and sporty figure.

Jewel had an incredible smile and open personality. For someone who was intelligent and beautiful she was also incredibly kind. Jewel could be friends with just about anyone, didn't matter if they were considered popular or some loner. All that concerned her was that as long as you were cool she would be cool with you. 

The fact that she was so loved and I was her best friend made me feel special. 

We would spend almost every moment we could together. We liked to chill at her place, lie in her double bed watching movies. She lived with her Dad and his new girlfriend, her mother was living in another country because of her work so she very rarely saw her. She never seemed upset by the distance between her and her mother, at least she never voiced any discomfort about it to me. I am sure it wasn't easy for her. When she was 10 her parents split, they had been growing apart, they had fallen out of love with each other.

She made a habit of avoiding the subject whenever it came up. Jewel was a pretty closed book for the most part, especially when it came to talking about intimate parts of her own life. She was extroverted though and she was funny, outgoing and great company. She didn't mind making fun of herself. She never took anything seriously, always the life of any party and willing to have a joke with just about any person. 

A boy we knew called Harry was madly in love with her. Without even meaning to he had been led to believe she was into him, mistaking her friendliness as flirting he sent her on valentine's day a huge love letter, the length of 10 pages announcing to her his love. 

And even in that she managed to let him down gently. Harry in his trousers slightly too high at the ankles, his messy curly hair and glasses far too big for his face.

 Julia never talked down his appearance to me, if anything she talked of him with a kind of brotherly love. 

“I think he is rather cute.” she said.

“What really?” I said. 

“Yeah he's nice.”

“Nice as in you don't think he's the kind of stalker to kill you kind of way?”

“Don't be so cruel! He has a big heart and would be an incredible husband one day.”

“What for you?”

“No! You already know I'm never getting married.”

She never explained to me why she thought she would never marry. When I think back I don't remember her ever even really having a boyfriend. She would hang around with boys and get up to all the things that boys and girls do, but she never had any interest in making anyone her boyfriend. Jamie, who was the star player for our loyal football team drew the attention of almost every girl except to his astonishment Jewel who repeated turned down his advances.

It sent a shock wave through all the gossip chambers within the female community. Most girls spoke of her in ill regard.

“She thinks she is better than everyone.”

“I don't get the fuss, she isn't even all that!”

“Probably only turned him down to try to look cool.”

“What the heck is she thinking?!”

These were a lot of the words that were getting thrown around. But for some people it made them have more affection for Jewel, the unattainable beauty, a girl who seemed so close but yet so far out of your reach. 

“What's the big deal? I don't want a boyfriend so I was always going to say no to whoever it was.” Jewel said to me

“It's because it's Jamie, everyone fancies him.” 

“Do you fancy him?”

“No.”

“So not everyone then.”

“Well no, but he is really popular and pretty good looking.”

“Why don't you ask him out then?”

“I just said I'm not interested.”

“Why not?”

“Same as you, I don't really care about having a boyfriend.”

“Well same! So I don't see why it's such a big deal.”

Jamie, the clear narcissist, a boy whose ego had been cracked, had to retaliate. In malice made up rumours that he never had asked her out and had turned down her advances. He claimed they had met up a few times but after a while she had gotten all psycho on him, always asking where he was and acting crazy if he so much looked at another girl. 

The first part of his story was true, they had met up a few times but it was Jamie who was overly infatuated with her. 

Despite the rumours Jewel never defended herself or denied any of it. It was water off a duck's back to her. She didn't care all that much about how others perceived her.

“You should be telling everyone what really happened.” I said.

“I don't care.”

“But he's making you out as something you aren't.”

“He can say whatever he likes and everyone can believe whatever they want.”

“You don't care that people are thinking you're some loved crazed teenager?”

“I’m sure people can figure out the truth for themselves.”

“People don’t want the truth, they just want entertainment.”

“That’s great and that’s what we’ll do, entertain ourselves. I’m game for a movie night, I’m thinking either Pulp Fiction or maybe Mean Girls?”

Just like that she moved on, not a care in the world. That was Jewel alright, she was living in a space above the rest of us. A league of her own.

The summer holidays had just begun and I spent almost the whole summer with Jewel. We would go out almost all day, visit the park, go into town, visit the arcade, go to McDonalds and watch movies. We would go down to the lake, swim and hang out with others from our class, stay out late and have sleepovers at her house. Day after day in her company. I would be there as she got ready in the mornings, see her as she changed. Her skin bronzed from the sun, see her slim waist and wide hips. That's the problem when you spend your time around people like Jewel, you start to compare yourself and have to suffer knowing that you just will never match up to her. 

I was the opposite freckled skin, sunburned, bright red hair like fire and flat chested. It was a point of teasing that I got from the boys at school.

Jewel always told me I was beautiful though, she said she was envious of my auburn hair. 

“It’s cute, they only tease you for it because it’s easy. Secretly they're probably all into it. I’d love to have been a redhead.”

I never believed her at the time but as I got older I only ever heard more and more compliments about my hair. She was right, she was always right.

I always wondered how we were friends, I could never figure out why. We were polar opposites. Jewel was charismatic, charming and attractive. While I was pale, skinny and reserved. I should have asked her but I already know what her response would have been. A shrug of the shoulders, a confused look on her face and her saying nonchalantly. “Because you are amazing? Why are you asking me such a weird question?”. 

That would be about as far as the talk would have gone before she changed subject to something entirely different.

It was nearing the end of summer. We sat atop a hill one night overlooking the town below. Sat side by side on a bench. The faint glow of the lights from the houses with the sky behind it reminded me of Van Gogh's The Starry Night. It was to be our last night together. She sat there looking out across the view, my eyes pinpointed on her, heart beat racing. It hadn't ever occurred to me how I truly felt about Jewel. Friends? I wasn't really sure, or maybe we were something more than that. Or was that what I wanted and couldn’t bring myself to believe. But it was true, now it seemed all the more clear to me. My eyes glued to her, watching shine below the street light in her flowery dress, her blue eyes looking towards me. That was when I noticed a tear begin to form in her eyes. It slowly ran down her cheek. She made no attempts to stop it, just let it go as it pleased. 

For a moment I was frozen, no idea of what to say until Jewel finally broke the silence.

“We’re moving house.” she said, not even changing her stare, as if sending the words out to be carried away by the wind to a far away place. A place where they couldn't take shape.

“How come?”

“My dad has got a new job, so we need to relocate.”

“Will it be far from here?”

“About as far from here as you can get.”

“When will you be going?”

“2 weeks.”

Left numb and in shock, I didn't reply instead we both sat there in silence for a moment. Finally I was able to speak.

“I'm going to miss you so much Jewel.”

“I know, it's the worst.”

She looked over to me, a forced smile on her face and came closer and pulled me in close to her, an embrace, a hug. Without even thinking the words came out of me.

“I love you Jewel.”

She gave out a little laugh, squeezing me tighter. 

“I love you too.”

We stayed there in each other's arms, a moment that I didn't want to pass. Then she pulled away and just like Jewel does she completely changed the topic of the discussion onto something else. For the rest of that night I could hardly take in another word she said. I couldn't stop thinking of her saying she loved me, not knowing if she had said those words with the same intentions as I had said to her. 

Just like that she was gone from my life. Where she moved I can never be sure. For a while we kept in touch over messages but soon those became more infrequent and eventually radio silence. 

Now at age 30 I am once again thinking of Jewel. I look out for her on TV, on billboards. Did she go on to become an actor? Maybe a news anchor? or a scientist? She might be on the top 100 list of business women, or a professional football player. Jewel could have gone on to be just about anything. I hope one day our paths will cross again and maybe, just maybe I could finally know what she meant on that starry night.